The Way the Cookie Crumbles

Triple-Choc Cookies, originally uploaded by rhino75.

Tummy troubles, computer problems, sending bits of my phone flying to opposite corners of the room, trapping my hand underneath the sofa, Raphie leaving StarAc' - it's been a miserable few days. So, now I've (fingers crossed) sorted out most of this list (I don't think Raphie's going to change her mind), it's time to pick up my prescription from Dr. Feelgood. First of all, bake Nigella's triple-choc cookies (and fill flat with yummy smell). Second, pour a large Jack and Coke. Third, settle down to a double bill of "Shrek 2" and "Shortbus". I feel better already.

BearForce1

Just when I was wondering what my next career move should be, I find these guys, who claim to be the world's "first true bear band." They also have a rather fab website. Marvellous. (via Absolument Gauthier)

Rome 2: Obesa Cantavit

Remember last summer, dear reader, when I was waxing lyrical about the BBC/HBO series "Rome"? Well, I've just finished watching Season 2 and if anything it's even BETTER (my italics) than the first. First of all, we get to see a LOT more of the hunktastic James Purefoy, as his character Marc Anthony takes centre stage. And once he gets to Egypt, things really hot up as he starts wearing eyeliner and taking part in orgies (the summum of debauchery for the suburban creature that I am). In fact, there's a lot more nookie in Season 2 overall which, let's face it, is the main reason we're all watching in the first place. Who's interested in an accurate depiction of some boring old Senate debate (Cicero, what a pompous ass!) when we can watch two good-looking people - one of whom happens to be James Purefoy - going at it hammer 'n' tongs? PLUS, as if that weren't enough, this season, we can see several new characters in flagrante delicto (nice Roman touch there, note). My fave is Marcus Agrippa, played by Allen Leech. Yes, yes I KNOW he looks a bit like an Eastern European twink porn actor, but that is, I'm sure, merely a coincidence (ahem). With a bonus in the shape of Alex Wyndham ("The Line of Beauty") as the decadent Maecenas. But sadly, to use a common Roman expression, Obesa cantavit. Opinion seems to be divided - on the viewer bulletin boards at least - as to whether it was disappointing viewing figures, high production costs, or "artistic differences" between the BBC and HBO, that led to the plug being pulled. Anyway, I got through a whole box of Kleenex watching the last episode (wiping away the tears, I hasten to add). Now I've only got "Heroes" to brighten my televisual week ::sigh::

Rhino75's Film Buff Teaser

Another classic movie moment, selflessly (my italics) recreated especially for YOU, dear reader, by the lovely Le Meg and myself - but which film is it?....

Hanging from the Ceiling

Look everyone - it's the photocopied house! Now, where is the television? Cue a long pause. Because I remember what a television is, and I can see it very clearly in the picture. But I cannot for the life of me remember how to say "in the corner". Everyone's looking. I've got to say something. "Rhino, where is the television?" The teacher repeats the question, more slowly this time as if to emphasize how very stupid I must be (or am I paranoid??). Several of my classmates shoot me pitying glances. I can see one mouthing the answer but - unfortunately - the only word I can make out is "television". Suddenly I have a flash of genius. "The television is ..." wait for it "...next to the desk?" "Good, Rhino, the television is next to the desk. And where is the desk, Paul?" Phew, there are another 15 people to get through before it's my turn again - surely we'll have exhausted the contents of this room by then? Of such dry-mouthed drama are my Tuesdays made, dear reader, ever since I decided to learn another language. I'd forgotten what it was like to be completely stymied by the word for "handtowel" and to retain only the phrase "hanging from the ceiling". However, last week's vocab test showed that I have a firm grasp of "checked", "striped", "flowery" and "patterned". I love it, it's just like being 14 again. All the "boys" sit towards the back of the room, doodling on their pads and snickering. Last week's exercise " a __ can be __" (adjectives, you see) produced the gem "a girl can be dirty" (phnaaar) which kept us giggling for a good 15 minutes. The "girls", on the other hand, sit at the front and all have dictionaries. And furry pencilcases. OK, I'm making that bit up but they DO all have dictionaries. I'm already looking forward to the school holidays...