Special Offer

Look what I found outside BHV on my way to buy catfood yesterday, dear reader. And guess what? They were on special offer!! Naturally, I bought two. (Click on the pic for a close-up).

Cyril in My Kitchen

I'm positively brimming (my italics) with excitement, dear reader. Cyril Lignac, the French Jamie Oliver, is coming round to cook for me!! Ok ok, first of all I have to win this sandwich competition organised by the makers of luscious (worth a try) cream cheese Kiri, but surely that is merely a formality? Who, after all, could resist my triple-layer "Nutella, Marmite and banana" on polar bread special? It's been known to make a grown man (me) cry. It's certainly more original than anything Cyril himself has ever come up with. He "shot" to televisual fame by taking a group of unemployed people and teaching them how to cook (ooh reminds me of....oh yes, Jamie Oliver) and then set up his own restaurant called "15" (as did, who was it? Ah yes, Jamie Oliver). Ha, I hear you snort, I expect he'll be tackling school dinners next. Yes, that's right. Still, his recipes ARE different (more fiddly and restaurant-y than Jamie's, but not bad at all, particularly on the French classics). In the interests of fairness, I have an equal number of cookbooks by each, but my heart really belongs to Jamie. That said, however, he's not offering to come round and cook, is he? I wonder what I shall wear....?

Rhino75's Product of the Week

Yes, I know, a NEW FEATURE. Exciting, isn't it? My plan is to bring you every week an EXCLUSIVE (my italics) through-the-keyhole glimpse of the exotica filling the cupboards at Rhino75 Towers. Week One: Dr. Stuart's Apple & Ginger Tea. Now, as many of you know, Rhino75 is a huge fan of Sweden and the frozen north in general. Any culture that can come up with Tyrkisk Peber vodka AND Agnetha Fältskog has to be doing something right, right?. Well, Dr. Stuart's magical beverage is Sweden in a cup. In fact, I'm pretty sure that Dr. Stuart's first name is Sven and that he's tall and blond with a fluffy beard under his white coat. Apples, ginger, cinnamon, just the brew for a cold winter's night. To be sipped wearing an H&M sweater, surrounded by candles (careful!), with possibly a little Carola or Roxette playing in the background. Underbara! If all goes to plan and I receive a lifetime's supply of said product from the manufacturer, next week I shall be featuring Cristal champagne. If not, probably my other great dietary staple, miso cup-a-soup. I know which one I'm rooting for. Ok, ok, this is a cheat post because this week so far has been all work and no play. Twelve-hour days, sore eyes, I haven't even had time to work on my new TV treatment ("Sergeant Kitty: Police Cat" - she sniffs all the evidence, rolls on bits of it and then...licks her bum? I need to work on the crime-solving angle a little more). Luckily, there IS some R&R lined up for the weekend, otherwise I'd go bonkers. And I've now got a ticket to see my new faves in London next month. TGIF.

La Vie Parisienne

So, bit of a mixed evening really. Walking home from Daily Monop' (possibly the gayest supermarket on the planet, bright pink decor and lots of small portions of overpriced food), I tripped and fell flat on my face in front of a whole terrace of diners near the Pompidou Centre. Luckily, my fall was cushioned by my bag of pre-washed mâche, but it was still highly embarrassing. Some 200 yards further on, however, I was chatted up (shopping, scuffed knees and all) by two young French men who, after various spurious questions about clubs and bars ('cos I look like such a clubber - not) asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome. I was a bit shocked to say the least. On a Monday?? Luckily, it was "Grey's Anatomy" night on French TV and there's was no way I was missing that, so I made my excuses and carried on down the street. Still, it's always nice to be asked (I think…?)

The Fickle Finger of Fame

What a difference two years make! Rhino75 was moseying round his local Monoprix supermarket this week, stocking up on Cristal champagne and coconut and lime soya yoghurts (trust me, they are delish!) when whom should I bump into but Patxi!! Yes, you remember, Patxi! No?? OK, Patxi (pronounced "Patchy") was one of the candidates
on Star Academy (the French version of Fame Academy) in 2003. Ironically enough, I found him by the cheese section. You can get an eyeful just by looking at the picture. He's small, fairly cute and was obviously flustered by his Rhino75 encounter (I often find this, reader). Anyway, try as I might, I couldn't get a good view of what was in his basket. Which annoyed me. I love those spreads where someone empties Madonna's or Shirley Maclaine's trash and then photographs it but in a "neat, packaging" way, rather than a "decomposing vegetable peelings" kind of way, and then you can sit there and go "ooooh Oreos, that's not very macrobiotic, is it now?" and not feel so bad about your own diet of cheeze whiz and full-fat coke. I did see him hesistate briefly near a quiche...(well, I had to keep following him round, didn't I?) He wasn't buying much though, because he went to the "Six Items or Fewer" checkout. Still, no-one apart from me was paying him any attention WHATSOEVER. Which must be kinda weird, no? Anyway, talking of Star Academy, Her Royal Madgesty is going to be on it tonight. Have already set the TiVo, don't worry.