Hold it, Flash Bang Whallop, Wot a Picture!*

Mario Testino take a back seat, Stéphane Sedanoui, get your coat, because Rhino75 is in town and he IS SNAPPING. My friend Sandrine popped round for a cuppa at the weekend and, before we knew it, we'd decided to take some pics - and though I say it myself (my italics - as usual), the results aren't half bad. Yes, yes, ok, it's pretty hard to take a bad picture of Sandrine, but still, the experience provided (badly needed) inspiration for the next stage of my **showbiz** career - photographer! (ta-da!!). I've got it all worked out. I'm going to get some silver umbrellas in the sitting room and cover the sofa with a lot of white sheeting (shows up the cat hair, but what the heck, we're talking bohemia here). Some powerful lighting, a jaunty beret and a slightly louche manner and I'll be all set. I will, naturally, be specialising in pics of muscular young men wearing casually unbuttoned overalls, or looking sweaty in a vest (them, rather than me), because I feel that's a sadly neglected genre. I'll subsidise that part of the business by charging my mates for a few 8" x 10" glossies. Is that a genius plan, or is that a genius plan? I was so taken with the whole idea, I didn't even bother to wash the teacups but ran straight round to see Sid (who is, after all, a real artist and, therefore, up on all that kind of thing.). To keep those creative juices flowing, we watched a DVD of these guys, which was rather fab, before everything suddenly melted into a red wine haze. One of my few memories of the rest of the evening was Sid ordering steak tartare for dessert... if that isn't bohemian, I don't know what is. Sometimes my life is just like "Moulin Rouge" (but with a bigger role for Kylie).
*a musical classic from the rather wonderful "Half a Sixpence" - To see it is to understand England.