Dontcha just hate Christmas shopping? I swear if one more person barges into me with their bags, I'll go postal. And it's not just the present buying. Yesterday I spent 35 minutes (35 - count 'em), queuing for these blasted things. Yes, yes, my own fault, but He-Who-Shall-No- Longer-Be-Named-On -This-Blog (HWSNLBNOTB) had told me they'd brought out some **NEW** flavours for Christmas, including an apple and cinammon one that, frankly, has a direct line to the Nordic gene in my DNA soup. Dee-lish, though probably NOT worth a 35-minute wait. But it's not all bad. I was coming up the escalator in Lafayette Maison - my second home - when all of a sudden the guy in front of me turned round and asked me what I'd like for Christmas - "within reason, of course". Totally threw me. I would love to tell you that I shot back with some witty rejoinder, but no. I blushed and stammered, "ooh, ooh" and when he insisted, I went all stiff and polite (like a true Englishman) and said "I have everything I need, thank you." What a dork. Me, I mean. Mind you, though obviously generous (always a nice trait so +10 points), he wasn't that hot (-5, shame), and I suspect he's been drinking (par for the course). I don't know how I do it but I am a Class A nutter magnet - I should bottle it.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Gift Horse
Dontcha just hate Christmas shopping? I swear if one more person barges into me with their bags, I'll go postal. And it's not just the present buying. Yesterday I spent 35 minutes (35 - count 'em), queuing for these blasted things. Yes, yes, my own fault, but He-Who-Shall-No- Longer-Be-Named-On -This-Blog (HWSNLBNOTB) had told me they'd brought out some **NEW** flavours for Christmas, including an apple and cinammon one that, frankly, has a direct line to the Nordic gene in my DNA soup. Dee-lish, though probably NOT worth a 35-minute wait. But it's not all bad. I was coming up the escalator in Lafayette Maison - my second home - when all of a sudden the guy in front of me turned round and asked me what I'd like for Christmas - "within reason, of course". Totally threw me. I would love to tell you that I shot back with some witty rejoinder, but no. I blushed and stammered, "ooh, ooh" and when he insisted, I went all stiff and polite (like a true Englishman) and said "I have everything I need, thank you." What a dork. Me, I mean. Mind you, though obviously generous (always a nice trait so +10 points), he wasn't that hot (-5, shame), and I suspect he's been drinking (par for the course). I don't know how I do it but I am a Class A nutter magnet - I should bottle it.
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4 comments:
Talking of nutters, while returning home from dinner with a friend last night, the oddball who spends a lot of time in my local gay pub, minced past me in his usual rapid, wobbly way.
Although he may have recognised me, I don't think he did as it was relatively dark and my scarf made me look a bit like a mummy.
Apropos of nothing he stuck his head into my face and said, 'I'm so late, I need to get to get to the Farmer's Union before they run out of mince pies'.
The Japanese couple ahead of me that he'd passed a few moments earlier mimiced his mincing while I invisibly shook my head in disbelief.
Why do these things always happen to you, you lucky boy! If it had happened to me, i'd have had the whole list prepared to give him.
It's weird, isn't it? I really don't think I do anything to encourage these people. I was completely lost in my own thoughts (i.e. not even checking him out). Ah well.
Class A nutter magnet - well, that's something we both have in common and maybe why we're friends. ;) I doubt I would have had any problems with this, a sort of materialist IQ, test.
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