Monday, October 22, 2007

Gay Schoolmaster Shocker!!!

So Albus Dumbledore, fictional headmaster of Hogwarts School and mentor to Mr. Harry Potter, was GAY (cue sharp intake of breath)!! It's true, it's true, his creator Joanne Rowling personally outed him. The object of Dumbley's affection was one Gellert Grindelwald (how GAY is that name?) but their love was doomed. You see, Dumbley realised that GG was actually practising the Dark Arts and, therefore, he had to kill him. I'm sure we've ALL been there. He then retired from gay life and became a headmaster. An everyday tale of the perils of man-love. What a load of old tosh!! Still, I think Joanne Rowling is getting off rather lightly here. The '80s are over and the "Community" has become more discerning. Just saying someone is "gay" isn't enough to win over the Pink Pound - we need to know the rest. Top or bottom (my money's on bottom)? Cut or uncut? Fetishes (I'm guessing "wandplay" would figure prominently) Pop or showtunes? Kylie or Britney? Is the Penseive a metaphor for rohypnol? Is the cruciatus curse a veiled reference to Special K? Also, I'm sure there'll be lots of people nodding wisely now, muttering "Yes, I always suspected..." and "Don't ask me why, I just KNEW." Which brings me to this week's homework: "Does literary gaydar exist?" Which fictional character has more than a whiff of lavender about them?

5 comments:

wendy said...

My money's on Mr Darcy - after all it took him so long to finally admit he loved Lizzie Bennet - he was obviously wrestling with his true feelings...and those tight trousers, I ask you.....

rhino75 said...

Oooh, nice one Wendy!!. And he only declares his love once he knows there's no chance of him and Mr. Bingley getting together...that said, he DOES like fishing, which is not terribly gay....

frog with a blog said...

Thank god, Dumbledore is dead or Tabloids would've started showing him half naked with lover on some Mykonos beach.
Not the prettiest sight...

And what do you think the magic wand's a metaphor for?

nardac said...

Moby Dick was the gayest albino whale ever. And Ishmael was a bottom.

What a load of tosh indeed. Maybe she's preparing for a gay spin-off. Draco Malfoy could be gay too, couldn't he?

rhino75 said...

Micke, I like the idea of a tabloid expose - and we've already seen what Harry looks like with his shirt off. Nardac, trust you to bring Moby Dick in - hahaha!