Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Help!! I'm Surrounded

...by bits of sideboard and peculiarly shaped nuts and bolts. Why ON EARTH do they call it self-assembly furniture when it doesn't assemble itself at all? Why are there holes missing on my bits, compared with the (virtually unintelligible) diagram? Why does Kitty insist on lying on said diagram? Apart from when threatened with new (fab!) electric screwdriver. And why does every single piece of furniture I've ever bought from that store appear to be held together with 4,000 small pieces of dowling? If I'd wanted a jigsaw puzzle, I would have bought one with that picture of dogs playing cards or a nice Greek sunset. In the words of Bonnie Tyler, I need a hero...

9 comments:

Reluctant Nomad said...

Have you been to Ikea? Have you been wielding your new Dr Who sonic screwdriver?

Ikea and similar shops should have groups of needy people on their books that can be sent out to assemble their furniture for people like us who struggle with 'self-assembly'.

rhino75 said...

That's a FANTASTIC idea Nomad. Unfortunately, though, this one didn't come from IKEA and I didn't realise it was self-assembly until it arrived, darn it! grrrrr

Sis!! said...

Ahhhh the world of flat pack!!! No self assembly pack is complete without the Allen key - you can have a whole tool kit but all you really need is the Allen key!!! It's always the 'key' to success!! Good luck bro am sure Kitty is being a huge help!!!! :-) XXXXXXXXXXXXX

rhino75 said...

OMG sis, you know the TECHNICAL term!! Do you want to come over and fix it for me? :-) It's driving me nuts.

nardac said...

Ikea, Swedish for common sense.

rhino75 said...

yes, yes, but a) it's not from Ikea and b) there aren't enough holes. It's most disconcerting.

Anonymous said...

Well I may know the technical terms but that's only because I've read through one too many sets of those flat pack things in the last year!!! I'm still an idiot when it comes to assemling them!!! I'm sure you're much better off without me!!! Good luck bro!!!! Not that you'll need it. :-) XXXXX

Sis! said...

Ooops that last comment was me - didn't mean to be anonymous!! :-O

nardac said...

Uhm... there aren't enough holes to fill? Something tells me this isn't just a home decor problem.